Vacío

Despierto y solamente puedo sentir un frío que me invade desde adentro. Ese frío es el vacío que dejó una muerte gradual de mis sueños más grandes.

Por ahora, sólo me resta sobrevivir en este mundo de almas muertas, envenenadas, engañadas.

How to Disappear Completely

This song describes basically how I've been feeling "lately", like in the past 2 years... Enjoy the song, is one of my favorite songs ever!



That there
That's not me
I go
Where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the Liffey
I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

In a little while
I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah it's gone
And I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes
I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

Show must go on...

I'm living my life as if it was never gonna end, because sometimes (a lot of times) I just lose track of time. As it may appear as a good thing, sometimes is not that helpful, 'cause I tend to waste time, and I tend to worry about really stupid things, that actually don't have any importance at all.

On the other hand, maybe I am trying to enjoy my present, without worrying about a future that may never come, or a past that is already gone and there is nothing I can do to change it. I think that it is important to live without many worries that suck out your life and energy like leaches.

I've been trying to find a balance, and to start enjoying every moment without forgetting that everything I do today will have a consequence tomorrow, but still have a lot of work to do 'till I actually find that balance.

in the mean time, I must go on, and keep on living, 'cause something I've learned is that time won't stop for anything, so I must follow up...

Imagination

It's all in the mind, the truth of our lives. Or is it a lie?

We listen to that phrase very often, and it is suppose to encourage us to fight for our dreams, for our goals. If you think big, you're gonna get big results. The sky is the limit of our imagination, and it has so many power over us, that is difficult to fight against it.

Is my success related with the power of my mind? I'm not sure how, but I can say that it has some relationship. When people think about their dreams and goals, they know what they want, and start working on whatever that will take them there, but when they get there, can we say that it was because of the dream or because of the effort?

I agree with those who say that we need to think before and act later, in order to achieve things, because if we don't know what we want, we will be like running in circles. Imagine to put all your effort in something that at the end you didn't even wanted in the first place... What a waste of time.

I believe that Luck has something to do with success too, 'cause sometimes, it doesn't matter how hard we try, it wasn't our time to succeed, our hearts aren't ready. In other cases, some don't even fight for their dreams (if they have dreams at all), and they achieve them.

My dreams may not come true, but tomorrow is gonna be a better day.

I need a pusher for my life!!

This images are from a train in Japan. I laughed my guts out when I first saw it, but is a reality, rush hour is very crowded, so those men are there for one job, they are "Pushers", and they push people into the train, until there is no space even for an air molecule.


Right now, I need a life pusher, someone who pushes me forward, into the right way, and makes everything fits in its place.

This life

"Life's a shit and then you die", that's what people want us to believe, but the truth is that life is whatever you want it to be. Many could think that my life is no good at all, or that has little rewards, and they are probably right, but that's according to their standards. The only thing that matters is what you value in this life. For example if one person thinks that money is essencial, whenever he/she doesn't have money, he/she will feel miserable.

But life can't be reduced to one single priority, 'cause is a very complex "thing", and all of us thinks different. As for myself, I can say that my life is hard, but not necesarily bad, just hard (although it has its moments). I still haven't graduated (yet), we're going through a hard economic phase, I can't find a nice job, I practically have no social life (very limited), some of my friends are leaving, but I have my lovely husband and my two adorable children, and thank God we're healthy. I know every single situation in my life is a result of previous decisions, either made by me or someone else.

Lately, due to certain situations, I had to reasamble my life, and give priority to those things I have, instead of the ones that are missing. I guess that's what life is all about, learn to enjoy everything we have, so we can say "Maybe I don't have all the things I want, but I want all the things I have!". I have to learn to live today, enjoy what I have today, and I've been trying, otherwise I would be crazy by now.

I must tell you, I don't envy anybody's life, even if you think your life is enviable, even if my life is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone, even if I don't have everything I want and you do, I don't envy you. What I do, is learn to make better decisions, and I've learned so much so far, but I know I still need to learn more. And I try to learn from all the people sorounding me, and it could be said that even though I've made many mistakes, I have learned my lessons.

Now, I just want to keep living, keep fighting, and I want all this effort to be worthy. I don't know how and I don't know when, but this fight will end, and everything will be different, better. Until then, I have to live this life...